My Hunted Heart
by limelikesjam173
Summary: I was so alone. I had thought I would always be alone. But then suddenly I wasn't. And somehow that was even worse. Because now, I had something to lose. Someone to lose. That scared me more than the thought of the Volturi catching me ever could. Jake was too important. Jake would make me risk it all. Honorable Mention in the Straight Thru the Heart Contest.
**My Hunted Heart**

Some days, I really wanted to kill Jake.

It wasn't because I hated him. It wasn't because he'd done something terrible to deserve it. It was because he was so goddamn, fucking perfect.

He was too nice. Too good looking. Too strong. Too much of everything I'd ever wanted.

And he was everything I couldn't have.

There were so many things I hadn't even known I'd needed until I met him. All the delusions I'd wrapped myself up in had crumbled into dust when I'd caught sight of his warm dark eyes. Eyes that had almost convinced me to do what my family had been begging me to do for weeks.

To stop running.

* * *

My heart, which beat too fast even on a normal day, was thundering furiously in my chest as I strolled through the woods of the Olympic Peninsula. My racing pulse was a strange contrast to my eerily calm breaths. With the wondrous scent of forest, trees, and rain filling up my lungs and reminding me of my childhood, it was impossible to be afraid. How could I be scared of the one place that would always be home?

Of course, it wasn't the place I was scared of. It wasn't the people I was scared of either. It was what would happen because of my presence. It was the thought of my family crying in pain and sadness—and heaven forbid, anger—that had me scared.

If only I could see them. Talk to them even. It would make everything better. The aching loneliness in my heart would go away. But I couldn't. It was too dangerous.

The Volturi were always watching.

I had been a mature vampire-human hybrid for almost 15 years when they came back for me. We had always known it would happen. They had been interested in me when I was just a baby, and it had been clear that I was a prize they wanted.

 _I, Renesmee Cullen, would always be a target._

A target my family was determined to protect. Whenever anyone got close, I was whisked away while my aunts and uncles fought. I hid and did nothing while they were hurt. They all recovered, but that wasn't the point. It wasn't fair for them to be punished for my sake. But when I'd brought up the possibility of me fighting, of confronting Aro, they had been appalled.

 _No. Absolutely not. Dear little Nessie was too valuable._

So, I took things into my own hands and ran away. I felt terrible for leaving them, for lying and hiding, but it was for the best. Now, instead of my nine family members all being in danger, it was just me. Me on the run, constantly moving from city to city, country to country. I cut off all contact, not wanting to give the Volturi any reason to cause trouble with my family. And it had been working.

If only the separation didn't hurt so much. It wasn't even a sharp, overwhelming pain—the type of pain that made you scream and cry and overtook everything. No, this was slow and subtle. This pain was sinking deep into my bones, so deep I thought it would never leave me.

Leaning on a nearby tree, I sucked in a deep calming breath. _I was okay. Everything was okay. Being here would make it better._

That was what I had thought when I convinced myself to come here. It had been a risky decision, because I was sure the Volturi were monitoring Forks, but I'd had to do something. I needed something— _anything—_ to ground me. If I couldn't go and find my family, this was the next best thing.

I didn't expect my family to come and find me.

An hour later, I was slowly wandering around, my heart finally calm and my shaking hands finally still. That was until a sudden voice behind me had me jumping in shock; my senses once again on edge. And it was a voice I had heard before. A voice I would never ever forget.

"Nessie?" the man called out, his voice deep but soft. I turned slowly, knowing who I would see before I locked eyes on him.

Jacob Black. Jacob, who had always been Jake to me. Jake, who hadn't aged a day since I'd last seen him thanks to his shapeshifting abilities. Jake, who had imprinted on me.

It had happened when I was just a baby. He had been my close friend when I was a toddler; my only friend who wasn't family. Until we had moved away. We had been in Forks too long, and the locals were getting suspicious. With his responsibility to his pack, Jake had stayed behind. Everyone had agreed it was best—to start separating us so we weren't dependent on one another. A plan that had paid off when just a few years later the Volturi had started making moves, forcing us to go into hiding. Jake and I had barely stayed in contact as the fighting increased.

Now, it had been eight years since I'd seen him, and more than two years since we'd even spoken on the phone. Yet in all that time neither of us had aged. We were both immortal. We could have seen each other only yesterday.

But though Jake might be exactly the same age-wise, there were still differences in his appearance. His hair was shorter now, yet still jet black. His eyes were still the same dark brown, although they seemed sadder. He was still very tall and muscled, something easily displayed by his shirtless state. In fact, his chest was quite distracting in a way it had never been before. His face caught my attention as well, causing my eyes to trace his cheekbones and mouth almost against my will. I knew I was staring, but I couldn't seem to stop. Then again, Jake was staring right back at me.

Eight years hadn't felt that long with all the rush and fear of being hunted, yet suddenly it seemed like a lifetime. Several lifetimes, actually. So much had happened. So much had changed.

Feeling like it was a dream, we both slowly moved toward one another. Some distant part of my mind warned me against it, but I was too distracted to care. Right now, in this moment, there was only Jake.

"Your hair is different," he said, breaking the silence surrounding us.

Automatically, one of my hands snapped upward to touch the short strands. It had only taken me a week on the run to realize my waist-length bronze curls would have to go. Running with long hair was a nightmare, and the red-gold was too noticeable. So, with a heavy heart, I had the hairdresser chop it off until it just touched my shoulders, and dye it a simple brown. It was currently hidden beneath a plain black hat to further disguise myself.

Then, in a movement almost too fast to follow, Jake was suddenly tugging the hat off my head. I couldn't help but stiffen at his proximity, hyper aware of his body.

It had been so long. _Too long_ since I had been this close to anyone. I had been so alone. And now, suddenly, here was Jake—strong, handsome and warm, and only an inch away.

"You look different. Older," he continued, more seriously now. I did nothing but shrug. Not because I didn't care. Not because I was oblivious. But because it was all I could do to keep myself composed. My head was spinning, my emotions racing.

"Ness? Are you okay? Why won't you speak?" Jake asked, looking worried. My heart clenched.

"Because I don't know what to say," I whispered reluctantly, hugging my arms to my chest. Now that I'd gotten over the initial shock of seeing him, my brain had finally caught up to my heart, and I was realizing what a terrible idea this was. I had refused to let myself see or talk to my family to keep them safe, and to take away the temptation of going back. Seeing Jake, my soul mate, was just as bad. Worse even. Because until ten seconds ago, I had never really thought of him as my soul mate. I had never felt that connection.

But now I did. Now, attraction had burst between us in an explosion of heat. I had run into Jake at the worst time, when my guard was already down, and now he was working his way into my heart. I could see in his eyes his excitement, his caring, his feelings towards me.

Emotions I would be destroying. Kindness I would throw back in his face, excitement that would turn to dread. It was already happening; the light in his eyes was dimming.

"When Bella told me you'd left, I didn't believe her," he said sadly, one of his hands moving forward to pluck a leaf from the sleeve of my jacket. The motion seemed automatic for him, but it made me gasp. He hadn't properly touched me, but I suddenly realized that I wanted him to. I wanted to feel his skin against mine. I wanted the electricity I was sure he would spark. I wanted the contact of someone I cared about, contact I had been so deprived of since I ran away.

Gritting my teeth and shoving back the stupid girly impulses, I spoke as calmly as possible.

"I did it because I love them. To protect them. I didn't want them to get hurt," I replied, keeping my expression blank. I had to keep it together. I couldn't crumble—not now. But Jake wasn't hiding his emotions and his disapproval was clear.

"They are hurting now, Nessie. You are hurting them," he retorted. I glared at him. _Did he think I didn't know that? Did he think it didn't hurt me just as bad? Or was he trying to change my mind by bringing up the hurt afresh?_

"Better me hurting them than Aro," I snapped, taking a step back. This was not what I had expected from Jake. This conversation didn't feel as if one soul mate was talking to another. It didn't even feel like friends. It felt like a fight. A fight that mirrored the turmoil inside of me.

My blank expression must have slipped because suddenly Jake softened, grabbing my hand to stop me taking another step back.

"I'm sorry, Ness. I shouldn't have said it like that," he apologized, his big brown eyes suddenly staring at me with full force. I shivered under his gaze. It felt like he was seeing more than just my body, as if he were seeing right down inside of me. No one had been close to knowing what I was really feeling in months. No one had even cared.

"I just want to help you. I don't want you to be sad," Jake continued softly. "I don't want you to be scared and hurting, because I can feel that you are." He held his hand to his heart, saying, "I can feel it here."

I gaped at him. " _You can feel my emotions_?" I asked, my voice squeaky with surprise. _Had he always been able to do that? Why had no one told me?_

"It only just started, Ness. I had a strange feeling you were close, so I came and found you, and they resonated within me," he said before I could even speak. More proof of the truth in his words. He must have felt my surprise and worry and guessed at my questions. _What else could he feel? How deep was our bond?_

I didn't know, but one thing was clear: whatever connection we had was growing, and that had to stop right now.

Before I even properly knew what I was doing, I found myself slipping my hand out of his grip and backing away. Two steps, three steps, six steps as Jake watched with confusion.

"Ness, what are you doing?" he asked with suspicion.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, pausing for a beat. Jake's eyes flashed with understanding.

"Nessie, no!" he protested, both of us moving at the same time. I spun around and launched into a run as he lunged forward, missing out on grabbing me by milliseconds. I threw myself across the ground in a dead sprint, darting through the trees as Jake crashed through the brush behind me. I was just starting to think I had a chance at evading him, that maybe he wasn't as fast as I remembered, when a hot body suddenly crashed into my side.

The two of us fell to the ground in a mess of limbs as we rolled over and over through the trees and rough underbrush. We were moving so fast we didn't stop rolling until we hit a nearby tree, the impact making the world suddenly stop spinning. It was then I registered Jake's searing warmth as he clutched me close, our bodies pressed tightly together. My brain's first instinct was to scramble away as fast as possible, but my heart's was to snuggle closer. As a result, my attempt to leave his hold was very lackluster, and it didn't take long before Jake's large hands on my shoulders stopped me.

"Ness, why are you trying to get away from me?" he asked, his eyes big as they watched me. I opened my mouth to reply, realized I had nothing to say, and then continued trying to squirm out of his grip. I tried to sling my leg over his body so I wasn't barricaded in by the tree anymore, but that was a mistake. I only got halfway through the move, and before I knew it, I was straddling Jake, my hands on his chest as he gripped my hips.

If I hadn't been aware of how close we were before, I certainly was now. This wasn't just touching—this was contact of the most intimate kind. Especially because Jake was sitting up now, so our faces were just inches apart. I could feel his strong heartbeat in the hot skin beneath my palms, hear how heavily we were both breathing in the thick silence. My brain told me to move, but my body refused to respond. Instead, I quivered as Jake's hands rose to cup my face.

"Are you so scared of me, Ness? Do you really think I would ever hurt you?" he asked, his voice hoarse. "I know we haven't seen each other in years, but—"

"That's not what I'm worried about," I whispered, cutting him off. It was love I was scared of, not pain. It was the desire and want in my heart, and the knowledge it could never happen, which had me terrified. My eyes were locked on his face as I watched his expression cycle through half a dozen emotions. Sadness. Confusion. Surprise. Realization. Desire. His fiery gaze caught hold of my own.

Then, with a fierce urgency, our lips were crashing together. Jake was kissing me and I was kissing him, our mouths slanting together and moving in a heavenly dance. Our tongues were battling, moans, groans and whimpers filling the air as I crushed myself against him.

It was ecstasy. After months of barely even talking to other people, it was heaven to lose myself in Jake. To completely immerse every part of my being in his wonderful heat, to knot my hands in his hair and pull him close as he did the same to me. For a moment, everything else disappeared and there was only the luxurious feeling of lips moving against mine.

But all too soon, we broke apart. My lips were tingling, my breaths too fast, but none of that mattered because Jake was smiling, and I couldn't help but smile back.

A smile that died just seconds later. I clapped my hand to my mouth in horror as my heart stuttered in my chest.

I had kissed Jake. I had feelings for Jake. Jake was my mate.

And the Volturi would kill him because of it. Or even worse, they would torture him to try and find out where I was.

I had just condemned my soulmate to a horrible death.

"No. No, no, no. We shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have—" I stammered before Jake stopped my rapid words with a hand over my mouth.

"Ness, why are you upset? I thought you were happy? I thought you wanted that?" he asked with confusion. My chest tightened in response to his hurt and bewilderment.

"I did! I do want it," I started to reply, automatically speaking the truth. Although, in the next second, I realized what a mistake it would be and quickly stopped myself. If I said out loud what we were both thinking, it would cause so much trouble. We couldn't go there. It could never happen. We had to forget all about it. We had to pretend it had never happened.

It was the only way he would be safe.

Scrambling to my feet and yanking myself out of his comforting grip, I schooled my face into the firmest expression I could muster.

"We never kissed. Nothing happened. I was never here," I stated, my voice strong and loud. Jake's jaw dropped. He opened his mouth to reply, but I spoke first, stopping him.

"Jake, I need you to listen. We never saw each other. I was not here. _Do you understand_?" I pressed. He shook his head. I dug my hands into my hair in frustration.

"I am on the run, Jake. They will kill anyone who they think is connected to me. They can't know. _No one_ can know," I hissed, the words scared and shaky. Jake instinctively stepped forward to comfort me, but I blocked him.

"No! You can't! We can't! You have to forget all about it!" I snapped, fear making my words sharp.

"Ness, you can't be serious!" Jake replied with horror. Gritting my teeth, I glared at him.

"I have never been more serious," I said slowly and coolly. "I was never here. Nothing happened. Okay?" He didn't reply.

"Jake! Tell me you understand! And promise me you'll do what I say!" I demanded. No, _not just demanded_ , but screamed. My whole body was trembling with fear and worry… and pain. The same emotions Jake was filled with as he stared at me, his heart in his eyes, waiting for me to take it back and change my mind.

I didn't. I couldn't.

With a heavy sigh, his tense body relaxed into defeat. And with a voice packed with hurt and almost too quiet for me to hear, he spoke.

"I promise."

* * *

I managed to maintain my composure and control my emotions for six days after I left Jake. Then, sitting in quiet hotel room on the other side of the world, I started to cry.

I had been lonely before any of this had happened. It had been hard, but I had been surviving. I had taken joy out of people-watching, of seeing other people happy in each other's presence. Now, seeing other people happy just made me miserable.

Because I was not happy. Because I didn't have someone like they did. Because I never would.

Before I had met Jake, I had tried not to think too hard about the future. It was out of my control, and something not worthwhile worrying about. But, now I couldn't help it. Now, there was a specific future I wanted. And I was realizing it would never happen.

There were only three ways my life could go. I could spend eternity on the run. I could be killed by the Volturi. Or the Volturi could be killed, and I would, for the first time in my life, be free.

I wasn't stupid. I knew option number three was never going to happen. The Volturi were thousands of years old, and the rest of the vampire world was too scared to fight them. But as long they remained in power, I would still be hunted. My family would still be in danger. Jake would be in danger.

As long as the Volturi existed, I would be alone.

* * *

In the weeks that followed, I kept running. But things were different now. My burning passion to survive, to evade those who hunted me, was gone. It was a good thing running was now automatic, so even as my brain and heart agonized over my loneliness, I was on the move. Trekking through dry sand, driving up and down hills, catching trains and planes and boats. My focus of the world narrowed further and further until I checked out entirely. It got to the point where one morning, a month after meeting Jake, I woke up not even knowing which country I was in, let alone what city.

There was only one thought that filled my brain now.

Jake.

The man who a month ago hadn't been on my mind was now the only thing that mattered. Sometimes the thoughts were wonderful, imaginings of us together and happy. But other scenes I conjured were horrifying. There were scenes when he hated me. And who could blame him? I had yelled at him. I had left him. I hadn't even said goodbye.

I didn't deserve to have him as a mate. But I wanted him anyway. I wanted it so strongly, so fiercely. My heart ached, not just for him, but for any sort of contact at all. Loneliness was eating me away. One morning, I crumpled under the emptiness and broke my most important rule.

Never make contact with my family.

I knew I shouldn't do it. I knew it could potentially get someone killed. But I couldn't resist. I felt as if I were going insane. I had to talk to someone.

But when I keyed in the number on an old public phone, it wasn't a Cullen who I was dialing.

It was Jake.

I didn't know why I was calling him. We had only had one real conversation in years, and even then it had been more of a fight than anything. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get him out of my mind.

I needed him.

* * *

If anyone had asked me, I wouldn't have been able to tell them what we talked about that night. I couldn't remember a single sentence, a single word. All I could remember was the honey smoothness of his deep voice, and feeling at peace for the first time in years.

We may have been thousands of miles away from each other, but in that moment I had finally no longer been alone. It had been glorious. To have someone actually call me by my real name. To have someone know what was going on. To finally be able to ground myself.

If only it could have lasted. Because when I hung up and said goodbye, I was more aware than ever of how dreadfully lost I was. And that night was the first of many I spent dreaming about a small cabin in the middle of the woods in Washington.

It was so, very stupid. I had come to terms with the fact we had no future weeks ago. But just because I knew it was impossible, that didn't stop me wishing for it anyway. The whole thing was even more absurd when you considered we had only really had two real conversations in our lives, but my heart didn't want to listen to logic.

My heart just wanted someone to get rid of the loneliness.

Almost against my will, I found myself travelling to South America on my next flight. I had decided a long time ago going back to the U.S. was too dangerous, so this was the closest I could get to home. It was a terrible idea really, with the way I was feeling. It would make it that much easier for me to do something stupid.

And five weeks later, I did something very, very stupid.

I had been moping and moody as I slowly travelled around Brazil, Argentina, and Chile. It hadn't escaped my notice that I was constantly moving north with every change in city, and I wasn't surprised to find myself in Colombia two days before Christmas. My first Christmas without my family. It had me feeling especially sorry for myself, and my sleep was plagued with dreams of my parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents all having fun without me. A pleasant dream compared to some of the horrors I had previously imagined, but it still left me feeling miserable the next morning.

But the dream wasn't what set me off. The dream wasn't what had me deciding to screw the Volturi, screw death and danger, and heading to the airport as fast as possible. No, it was the waiter and the café just down the street.

I was waiting for my coffee and croissant, nervously and unhappily tapping my fingers on the table, when he brought over my order. At first, I was so oblivious I didn't even look at him when he paused next to me. He had to gently tap my shoulder to draw my attention, which had me looking me up in surprise. It was then that my jaw dropped.

The man was Jake. No, not Jake, but a man who looked enough like him to be his twin. This man was smaller, without Jake's huge muscled build, but his face was near identical. The same nose, the same lips, the same wonderful russet skin. And most strikingly, the same dark brown eyes, watching me with concern. Watching me just like he would.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I was out the door.

* * *

It had taken me three flights and lots of bribes to get myself to the SeaTac Airport at Seattle, Washington. Christmas Eve was the worst night for plane trips, and I had to zigzag across the country and jump several cities to get there. When I finally did, I was so nervous as I stepped out of the airport with my rental car key in hand that it took me three whole minutes to realize it was snowing.

It must have been going on for a while, because the ground was solidly coated with a few inches of icy snow. When I began paying attention, I noticed the white flakes were drifting down all around me, dusting my clothes in a light sprinkle. It was going to be a white Christmas.

A Christmas spent with Jake. The thought made me shiver, and suddenly I was jogging across the car park. It didn't take me long to track down my car, jump inside the vehicle, and slam my foot on the gas. I zoomed toward the highway which would lead me to the coast at a speed well over the limit, but I didn't care. The road was empty, I had super human reflexes, and I had somewhere I needed to be.

The trip to La Push seemed to take no time at all, my thoughts flying as I drove and watched the snow fly around me. Then, finally, I was slowing to pass through the town. I didn't know where Jake's house was, so I pulled up on the side of the road and jumped out, heading straight into the woods. It was night now, and the snow that covered everything was still falling. The forest looked so different, so magical and wonderful with the white frosting. But that wasn't what I had come to see.

What I had come to see was the man running towards me. Jake.

I didn't know how he'd discovered I was here, or how he'd found me so quickly, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered but running toward him as fast as I could, and throwing myself into his arms. Large, strong, warm arms that clutched me so tightly I thought I would shatter. If I did, I wouldn't care. I could die right now, happy in Jake's embrace.

I locked my arms around his neck tighter as he spun us around, my feet flying off the ground as he hiked me upward. I laughed at the movement, loving the exhilaration of his touch. His hands were in my hair, on my waist, slipping up and down my body as if reassuring himself it was really me, that I was really here. Then, finally, his lips were finding mine and we were kissing, our mouths furious as they moved together.

It had been so long. Too long. But his kisses made all the time fade away. His lips were warm, so wonderfully warm, bringing me blissful pleasure. I could have kissed him forever. Perhaps we did kiss forever, because when we reluctantly broke apart, I had no idea how much time had passed.

"You're here. I can't believe you're here," he whispered, before bending down to kiss me again, this time his lips soft and sweet.

"I've missed you," he mumbled, his mouth still touching mine. I nodded in agreement.

"I missed you, too," I replied, and this time it was me who was kissing him. He tasted so headily amazing, I didn't want to stop, but I had to. He had to know I hadn't changed my mind.

"I can't stay long. I have to leave again tomorrow. You know that, right?" I asked, knotting my hands in his hair. I expected him to frown and protest, but instead he smiled.

"I don't care about that, Ness. Right now, you're here with me. Nothing else matters."

* * *

Jake and I didn't bother wasting time leaving the woods, instead choosing to curl up together right there in the snow. With Jake resting his back against a tree and me curled up in his lap—his arms and legs securely bracketing me in his warmth—it was hard to believe life could get any better.

As both of us were supernatural, neither of us felt the cold, so it didn't matter we were in freezing temperatures which could kill a human. In fact, it was better, because it meant we were completely and utterly alone with each other. We got to look up at the stars and watch the snow fall down around us as we talked, really talked, for the first time.

He asked about my favorite place I had visited. I asked about the pack. He asked what my favorite movies were. I asked about his mechanic business. Back and forth we shared our lives, our likes and dislikes, and our dreams. It was so easy, so effortless, to share my heart with him. And he gave his unreservedly in return.

We spoke for hours, and could have continued for many more. We suited each other so perfectly; both did the same things and thought the same way. I wondered why we had ever stopped speaking, how they had ever separated us. I supposed I had changed so much since then, grown up so much in the fights that had occurred, and being on the run afterward.

For the first time since I'd left my family seven months ago, I was truly glad I had left. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have run into Jake. If I hadn't left Jake the first time, I never would have understood how lonely I was, and how much I needed him. Or how much he needed me.

"What time is it?" I asked as the snow finally stopped falling around us. Beneath me, Jake shifted slightly and tightened his grip on my waist.

"After midnight, I think. We've been here a while," he said with a chuckle. I thought over what he had said.

"That must mean it's Christmas day, then," I replied, realization sinking. Twisting to look at Jake, I saw him nod.

"Yes, you're right," he agreed, then raised a hand to gently stroke my cheek. "Merry Christmas, Ness," he said with a smile. I grinned back.

"Merry Christmas, Jake," I said in return. Then, we both moved at the same time, our mouths brushing in a soft kiss. A kiss which went from sweet to hard in just seconds, the comforting warmth blooming into a blistering fire. We were clutching each other as if lives depended on it, and I twisted in his grip to press myself closer to the hard planes of his body. Before I knew it, we were rolling and Jake was pressing me into the ground, his body a wonderful weight on top of me as his lips slanted against mine.

Then, the world disappeared, and all I could feel was Jake. The smooth skin of his arms as I pushed his jacket off his shoulders. His deft hands undoing my coat and pulling it off me, not hesitating before taking my shirt off immediately afterward. His warm lips kissed a path down my neck, making me gasp as his hands ran across the bare flesh of my stomach while I tugged off his shirt.

Jake. Jake. Jake.

There was so much pleasure, so much warmth, so much ecstasy. I cried out as he undid my bra and his hot mouth moved over to my breasts, making my whole body tighten with need. His tongue was heavenly on my nipples as he took off my jeans and underwear, leaving me naked beneath him. Then, his fingers were slipping inside me, curling in my slick heat and making me burn with desire. My hands dug into his hair and shoulders as I moaned and whimpered at his ministrations, falling apart in his arms.

Yet, despite the glorious pleasure he brought me as I climaxed, I needed more. We both raced to pull off his pants, our bodies pressed together all the way from our heads to our toes. Next, his hard length was between my thighs, his mouth giving me a blistering kiss as he pushed inside of me. I quivered as he filled me, his erection huge and hot in my core as we joined ourselves in every way possible.

Finally, we were the mates we were supposed to be.

We moved together in perfect harmony, our cries, moans and heavy breathing blending together as he thrust into me. I wrapped my legs around his hips to bring him deeper, my entire body arching as he hit that hot spot deep inside of me. The world faded away, then, in an intoxicating haze of pleasure; our bodies shattering together and shaking in ecstasy.

Jake and I made love deep into the night, joining ourselves over and over again as we lay in the snow. We never fully separated, never stopped touching, and never stopped sharing our overwhelming passion. In the end, only pure exhaustion could stop our lovemaking, our bodies completely used up.

Falling asleep in each other's arms, we were both filled with nothing but bliss.

* * *

Unfortunately, the glorious pleasure didn't last. When we woke, the sun had long since risen and the snow around us was glistening white. And though the attraction and joy from the previous night was still filling my veins, there was sadness too.

Because I would have to leave.

We both knew without speaking what had to happen. I could see it in Jake's eyes, and he could see it in mine. When I opened my mouth to speak, he stopped me with a kiss.

"It's okay, Ness. It was more than worth it," he said, his eyes filled with emotion. I couldn't stop myself tugging him close for another kiss, which quickly became hard and furious, threatening to lead to a repeat of the previous night. When we finally separated, Jake very deliberately distanced us so our naked bodies were no longer pressed together.

"I think you should get dressed, honey. You're entirely too tempting," he explained with a laugh. Thinking he was just as distracting, we collected our clothes, which were strewn all across the forest floor. Thanks to the warm sunlight, the snow hadn't made them too wet.

But once we finished tugging on our jeans and tops, the hard cold reality set in. Jake and I just stood there staring at each other for what felt like forever, unwilling to do what had to happen. Finally, I broke the silence.

"We should do this fast. Not drag it out. It'll be better…" I whispered, hugging my arms to my chest. I didn't really believe the words, and I was sure Jake knew it. But he nodded anyway. He looked as if he were about to speak; however, he then seemed to change his mind. Instead, he drew me close and kissed me softly, sweetly, lovingly.

It was a goodbye kiss.

Sucking in a deep breath, I forced back my rampaging emotions and ran my fingers through Jake's hair one last time. Then, I moved my hands so they covered his eyes.

"Don't watch. Keep your eyes closed," I choked out, my heart thundering in my chest. Again, Jake nodded without speaking. I wondered if maybe he couldn't bring himself to talk, as if saying it out loud would make it real. But then suddenly his deep voice was reaching my ears one last time.

"Goodbye, Ness," he whispered, the words shaky. I couldn't blame him, as I gritted my teeth to hold back a sob.

"Goodbye, Jake," I replied, unable to resist kissing him lightly one last time. Then, with a whimper that came right from my very soul, I spun around and walked away. It took everything I had to keep myself breathing, to stop myself from collapsing beneath the pain in my heart.

How was I supposed to do this? How could I go back to being alone when Jake now held my heart? How was I going to survive? It had only been thirty seconds, and already my will to leave was crumbling. Already my soul yearned to return to its mate. My feet didn't want to walk, and only the thought of Jake getting hurt kept me moving. I stumbled through the forest like I was drunk, oblivious to my surroundings.

So oblivious I didn't notice someone was leaning against my rental car until I was just a few feet away. And it wasn't just someone.

It was Jake.

I gaped at him, at a loss for words. _What was he doing here?_ _How had he beaten me back? How had I not noticed his presence?_ I had so many questions, but I couldn't make my mouth move to ask them. But Jake, wonderful and caring Jake, knew exactly what I was thinking. He always did.

"It took me all of two seconds to realize I couldn't let you leave again," he said hoarsely, his gaze fierce as he watched me. I forced myself to stay where I was and not walk any closer, even though all I wanted to do was run into his arms.

"Jake, please don't try to stop me. I have to go. You know that. I can't stand it if—" I said, my body shaking with tension. Yet before I could finish my protest, Jake was surging forward, cupping my face with his hands, silencing me.

"I'm not here to stop you, Ness," he answered, his eyes alight. Then, to my amazement, he grinned.

"I'm going with you."

* * *

Leaving La Push was a very different experience to entering it. When I had arrived, I had been full of fear and excitement and worry, my emotions rolling, out of control. Now, sitting in the passenger seat of my rental car, I was calm. I was calm and filled with all different emotions. Surprise. Happiness. Peace.

Love.

Shifting in my seat, I glanced over at Jake. After half an hour of making out against the side of the car, he had insisted on driving. I hadn't had the energy to protest, dizzy with desire. Even then, I was still filled with the electricity of his touch, hyper aware of his presence. By the amount of looks he was throwing my way, the feeling was mutual. If he hadn't been a shapeshifter, I would have been worried about how little attention he was paying to the road, and how often his eyes lingered on me instead. But he was supernatural. We were both were.

And we could live together forever.

If we wanted to, that was. I wasn't sure if I loved Jake yet. Everything had been such a whirlwind, and I was still trying to process it all. But I knew I would one day. I had no doubt. I could feel it in my heart.

And my heart also knew one day he would love me, too.


End file.
